Discussing Finances- Navigating that Awkward First Conversation With Your Partner
Creating a budget and a plan for your money is hard enough when you are a singleton. Trying to come together with your partner to set a budget and plan as a couple or family can be extremely daunting, especially if money and finances is not something you already discuss as a couple. But sometimes the greatest things start as the most difficult and getting on board together now as a couple is only going to help create a stronger financial future for you and your family.
Most arguments between couples stem from money issues especially when the two of you have different ideas, beliefs and priorities for the money. This is why it is so important to start communicating about your finances together, you can compromise and come up with a plan that incorporates your goals as a couple or family and it also means that one person is not left with the burden of making sure bills are paid and savings are organised. Having been the partner in a previous relationship who left everything to the other person I feel guilty about that now that I left all that stress on one person and also foolish that I didn’t take an active role in my money and finances when I was younger.
Now the “Honey lets talk about money” conversation is probably not going to be the easiest to start, especially if you know your partner may not be too thrilled about the idea of cutting back on the nights out or the take-away meals etc. My best advice for starting this conversation is to frame it from a point of view of goal setting together, not from a place of we have to stop spending money on X,Y and Z, or even worse YOU have to stop speeding X,Y and Z. Sit down together with your partner and start a discussion about your 5-10 year goals… what you would both love your life to look like. Do you want children soon? maybe you want a holiday to Greece? Want to stop renting and buy your own home? Pay off your student loans? Move to a different state or town? Perhaps you want to take a month or even a year off to go sailing around the world? Reduce to a single income so one of you can stay at home with the children? Buy a new car? Start a business? whatever it is let the ideas flow and let your imaginations run, don’t let it get bogged down in what you can afford. Stop and really take a good look at what the two of you want your life to look like, from there you can look to finding ways to achieve this.
Discussing your goals will provide you with a natural segway into looking at how adjusting your finances or setting a budget will set you both on the path to achieving them.
No matter what your goal looks like you can break it down into small manageable chunks- an overseas holiday well that means we would need to save around $10k, break that down over 12 months is $850 per month, break that down over 4 weeks is $210 per week, which then leads us to look at how we could make a budget and see if we can find that kind of money to take ourselves on that holiday! The exact same goes for buying a house or moving to a single income… some may be more difficult
I know that once my partner and I had the initial conversation and discussed our goals it was so much easier to set a plan of action in place, start looking at our budgets (we weren’t living together at the time) and then to come back and regularly discuss the goals, give each other that motivation to
I have found that working hard for my money is a heck of a lot easier when I am doing it to chase a dream and a tight budget is an easy pill to swallow when I know it is leading me and my partner towards the life I really want.
DARE TO CHALLENGE YOURSELF
So ladies my challenge for you this week is this… start that conversation. You don’t have to have all the answers figured out, you don’t have to have a plan finalised but you do have to be brave enough to have the conversation and willing to have an open and honest discussion with your partner about what you want, your goals, your priorties and you also have to be open to listening to theirs.
